Living with Purpose: How Your Relationships Witness to the World
What if every relationship in your life had a divine purpose? What if the way you treated your spouse, raised your children, interacted with your coworkers, and even responded to difficult people was part of a larger mission that extends far beyond your immediate circle?
Too often, we drift through our relationships "accidental-like," as Forrest Gump might say—floating through life without intentionality, without recognizing the profound impact our daily interactions have on those watching us. But here's a transformative truth: we weren't created to simply float. We were created with destiny, with purpose, with a mission that makes every relationship epic.
People Are Watching
Jesus made this crystal clear to His disciples in some of His final words before going to the cross: "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35). Notice He didn't say "some people" or "a few people"—He said everyone will know. The way we love those closest to us broadcasts a message to the watching world about who we follow and what we believe.
A hundred years after Jesus spoke these words, the early church leader Tertullian reported that pagans would look at Christians and say, "See how they love one another." The early believers took Jesus' words seriously, and their relationships became a powerful witness that drew others to Christ.
The question for us today is: What do our relationships communicate about the God we serve?
The Witness of Your Core Relationships
Our closest relationships—with our spouse, children, and intimate friends—aren't just for our personal benefit. They serve as a living testimony to those outside our faith. When your grandson watches how you honor his grandmother, he's learning what godly love looks like. When your coworkers see you speak respectfully about your spouse instead of complaining, they witness something countercultural. When neighbors observe how you navigate conflict with grace and humility, they catch a glimpse of kingdom life.
This doesn't mean our relationships must be perfect. Perfection isn't the goal—faithfulness is. What matters is how we handle the trials, how we work through disagreements, how we demonstrate character when things get difficult. People aren't looking for flawless relationships; they're looking for authentic ones that show resilience, forgiveness, and genuine love.
The Cost of Poor Witness
Consider the woman at the pharmacy wearing a Christian t-shirt with scripture on the back, yet verbally abusing the pharmacy worker over something beyond his control. Her clothing proclaimed one message while her behavior contradicted it entirely. Or think about the restaurant workers who dread Sunday afternoons when church crowds arrive—not because they're busy, but because many Christians display impatience, rudeness, and leave poor tips.
These aren't just unfortunate incidents; they're missed opportunities to reflect Christ. Worse, they actively damage the witness of the gospel. When our private character doesn't match our public profession, we push people away from the very Savior we claim to follow.
Five Categories of "Others" Who Watch Us
Beyond our core relationships, there are five specific groups of people for whom our lives serve as witnesses:
1. The Lost
Jesus came "to seek and save the lost" (Luke 19:10), and that mission extends to us. When the Pharisees criticized Jesus for eating with tax collectors and sinners, He responded, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick" (Matthew 8:2-3). We must remember that we were once lost too. Someone loved us enough to show us the way to Christ. Now it's our turn to extend that same love to others who don't yet know Him.
2. The Enemies
When Jesus hung on the cross, beaten and mocked by the very people He came to save, He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). This is how we're called to treat those who oppose us. Many who seem like enemies are simply lost, confused, or afraid. They don't understand the truth, and it's our job to show them through love and grace—not condemnation.
3. The Outcasts
Jesus consistently reached out to those society rejected: the sick, the poor, widows, orphans, and lepers. When a man with leprosy approached Him, Jesus did the unthinkable—He touched him. That simple act of compassion, combined with healing power, demonstrated God's heart for the marginalized. Isaiah 1:17 calls us to "learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow." Our willingness to serve those in need speaks volumes about our God.
4. Our Extended Family
Family relationships can be complicated, but they matter deeply. We shouldn't speak negatively about our relatives or distance ourselves from them, especially when they need Christ. These are people God has placed in our lives for a reason. Caring for family, including providing for their needs, is so important that Paul wrote, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). Strong words, but they reveal how seriously God takes family relationships.
5. Our Workplace
Your job is your mission field. The people you work with and the boss you serve under are watching how you live out your faith. Ephesians 6 teaches us to work as though we're working for God Himself. When you shift your perspective and see your workplace as a ministry opportunity, everything changes. Working with integrity, serving with excellence, and treating others with respect opens doors for gospel conversations that might never happen otherwise.
Making the Choice
Here's the challenging truth: you can't wait for others to make this choice. You can't blame your spouse, your kids, your circumstances, or your past. Like Adam and Eve, it's easy to point fingers. But transformation begins when you take personal responsibility for how you live and love.
This requires humility—acknowledging that you don't have it all figured out but you're willing to learn and grow. It requires intentionality—staying focused on the mission even when you get tired or distracted. And it requires faith—trusting that when you honor God in your relationships, He will work through you in ways you never imagined.
Jesus was always about His Father's work. He told the religious leaders, "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working" (John 5:17). He lived with purpose, and His relationships testified to who He was. When people questioned whether He was the Messiah, He pointed to His works as evidence.
The Ripple Effect
When you choose to honor God in your core relationships, something remarkable happens. Word begins to spread. Just as crowds gathered around Jesus because they heard about the lives He was changing, people will be drawn to what God is doing in and through you. Your transformed marriage becomes a beacon of hope for struggling couples. Your patient parenting inspires other parents. Your authentic friendships model what true community looks like.
This is how movements begin—not with perfection, but with people who humbly commit to following Christ's example in their everyday relationships.
So stop living "accidental-like." You have a destiny. You have a purpose. Every relationship in your life—from the most intimate to the most casual—is an opportunity to point others toward the God who loves them. Make the choice today to embrace that mission. Be on guard. Stay focused. And watch what God will do when you commit to making your relationships truly epic.
What if every relationship in your life had a divine purpose? What if the way you treated your spouse, raised your children, interacted with your coworkers, and even responded to difficult people was part of a larger mission that extends far beyond your immediate circle?
Too often, we drift through our relationships "accidental-like," as Forrest Gump might say—floating through life without intentionality, without recognizing the profound impact our daily interactions have on those watching us. But here's a transformative truth: we weren't created to simply float. We were created with destiny, with purpose, with a mission that makes every relationship epic.
People Are Watching
Jesus made this crystal clear to His disciples in some of His final words before going to the cross: "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35). Notice He didn't say "some people" or "a few people"—He said everyone will know. The way we love those closest to us broadcasts a message to the watching world about who we follow and what we believe.
A hundred years after Jesus spoke these words, the early church leader Tertullian reported that pagans would look at Christians and say, "See how they love one another." The early believers took Jesus' words seriously, and their relationships became a powerful witness that drew others to Christ.
The question for us today is: What do our relationships communicate about the God we serve?
The Witness of Your Core Relationships
Our closest relationships—with our spouse, children, and intimate friends—aren't just for our personal benefit. They serve as a living testimony to those outside our faith. When your grandson watches how you honor his grandmother, he's learning what godly love looks like. When your coworkers see you speak respectfully about your spouse instead of complaining, they witness something countercultural. When neighbors observe how you navigate conflict with grace and humility, they catch a glimpse of kingdom life.
This doesn't mean our relationships must be perfect. Perfection isn't the goal—faithfulness is. What matters is how we handle the trials, how we work through disagreements, how we demonstrate character when things get difficult. People aren't looking for flawless relationships; they're looking for authentic ones that show resilience, forgiveness, and genuine love.
The Cost of Poor Witness
Consider the woman at the pharmacy wearing a Christian t-shirt with scripture on the back, yet verbally abusing the pharmacy worker over something beyond his control. Her clothing proclaimed one message while her behavior contradicted it entirely. Or think about the restaurant workers who dread Sunday afternoons when church crowds arrive—not because they're busy, but because many Christians display impatience, rudeness, and leave poor tips.
These aren't just unfortunate incidents; they're missed opportunities to reflect Christ. Worse, they actively damage the witness of the gospel. When our private character doesn't match our public profession, we push people away from the very Savior we claim to follow.
Five Categories of "Others" Who Watch Us
Beyond our core relationships, there are five specific groups of people for whom our lives serve as witnesses:
1. The Lost
Jesus came "to seek and save the lost" (Luke 19:10), and that mission extends to us. When the Pharisees criticized Jesus for eating with tax collectors and sinners, He responded, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick" (Matthew 8:2-3). We must remember that we were once lost too. Someone loved us enough to show us the way to Christ. Now it's our turn to extend that same love to others who don't yet know Him.
2. The Enemies
When Jesus hung on the cross, beaten and mocked by the very people He came to save, He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). This is how we're called to treat those who oppose us. Many who seem like enemies are simply lost, confused, or afraid. They don't understand the truth, and it's our job to show them through love and grace—not condemnation.
3. The Outcasts
Jesus consistently reached out to those society rejected: the sick, the poor, widows, orphans, and lepers. When a man with leprosy approached Him, Jesus did the unthinkable—He touched him. That simple act of compassion, combined with healing power, demonstrated God's heart for the marginalized. Isaiah 1:17 calls us to "learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow." Our willingness to serve those in need speaks volumes about our God.
4. Our Extended Family
Family relationships can be complicated, but they matter deeply. We shouldn't speak negatively about our relatives or distance ourselves from them, especially when they need Christ. These are people God has placed in our lives for a reason. Caring for family, including providing for their needs, is so important that Paul wrote, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). Strong words, but they reveal how seriously God takes family relationships.
5. Our Workplace
Your job is your mission field. The people you work with and the boss you serve under are watching how you live out your faith. Ephesians 6 teaches us to work as though we're working for God Himself. When you shift your perspective and see your workplace as a ministry opportunity, everything changes. Working with integrity, serving with excellence, and treating others with respect opens doors for gospel conversations that might never happen otherwise.
Making the Choice
Here's the challenging truth: you can't wait for others to make this choice. You can't blame your spouse, your kids, your circumstances, or your past. Like Adam and Eve, it's easy to point fingers. But transformation begins when you take personal responsibility for how you live and love.
This requires humility—acknowledging that you don't have it all figured out but you're willing to learn and grow. It requires intentionality—staying focused on the mission even when you get tired or distracted. And it requires faith—trusting that when you honor God in your relationships, He will work through you in ways you never imagined.
Jesus was always about His Father's work. He told the religious leaders, "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working" (John 5:17). He lived with purpose, and His relationships testified to who He was. When people questioned whether He was the Messiah, He pointed to His works as evidence.
The Ripple Effect
When you choose to honor God in your core relationships, something remarkable happens. Word begins to spread. Just as crowds gathered around Jesus because they heard about the lives He was changing, people will be drawn to what God is doing in and through you. Your transformed marriage becomes a beacon of hope for struggling couples. Your patient parenting inspires other parents. Your authentic friendships model what true community looks like.
This is how movements begin—not with perfection, but with people who humbly commit to following Christ's example in their everyday relationships.
So stop living "accidental-like." You have a destiny. You have a purpose. Every relationship in your life—from the most intimate to the most casual—is an opportunity to point others toward the God who loves them. Make the choice today to embrace that mission. Be on guard. Stay focused. And watch what God will do when you commit to making your relationships truly epic.
Melvin Vandiver
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